Author: Paul McKim

Communication is essential for healthy relationships, but most of us haven’t learned how to communicate well. Usually, we repeat patterns that we adopted from our family of origin, and that we developed unconsciously throughout our life in order to protect ourselves emotionally. Whatever the communication patterns that we ended up with, they likely limit our potential for having authentic and connected relationships, whether with friends, family members, or romantic partners. In this article, I’m going to explain how we can improve our communication, and have more fulfilling relationships, by developing ourselves and our awareness.   Continue reading “Improving Communication in Relationships Part 1”

Most of us have difficulty allowing our emotions to exist as they are, and simply being present with them. We use various strategies to avoid feeling them – oftentimes without being aware of it. This frequently has to do with how we were conditioned to relate to our feelings by the family and culture we grew up in. It also reflects the natural human tendency to avoid pain and discomfort. Continue reading “Being Present With Emotions”

Our society is highly polarized by political and cultural issues. Understandably, someone undergoing therapy might want to know what views their therapist holds, or may feel concerned about what response they will get if they discuss their own views in therapy. How a therapist handles these issues may affect a client’s trust or sense of safety in therapy. Likewise, the way a therapist deals with political discussion can be useful or not for the therapy process. Continue reading “Politics In Therapy”

Imagine what it would be like to have someone constantly following you around, telling you how bad you are, especially if you believed what they were saying. Unfortunately, many of us actually have this experience, although our critic exists inside of our own head.

Perhaps you can recognize an inner dialogue that sounds mean and judgmental, always focussing on your supposed mistakes and flaws. We have a part of our psyche, sometimes referred to as the “inner critic,” which undermines our confidence and limits our potential. This judgemental part of our mind can always find a reason to make us feel ashamed. Continue reading “Freedom From The Inner Critic”