Author: Paul McKim

Communication is essential for healthy relationships, but most of us don’t do it very well. Usually, our communication is limited by whatever patterns we’ve developed for protecting ourselves emotionally, some of which were passed down from our family of origin. This inhibits the connection we can experience with others, whether with friends, family members, or romantic partners. Becoming an excellent communicator requires inner work. More fundamental than learning techniques for communicating better is addressing the personal emotional and psychological issues that get in our way. That will be the focus of this article. Continue reading “Improving Communication Through Self Awareness”

Most of us have difficulty being present with our emotions, simply allowing them to exist as they are. Instead, we use various strategies to try to change and avoid our feelings, oftentimes without even being aware we are doing it. Some of these strategies developed automatically, to help us survive painful, overwhelming situations, especially as children. We also try to regulate our emotions according to beliefs about what we should and shouldn’t feel, which were taught to us by the family and culture we grew up in. Continue reading “Being Present With Emotions”

Our society is highly polarized by political and cultural issues. Understandably, someone undergoing therapy might want to know what positions their therapist holds, or may feel concerned about what response they will get if they discuss their own views in therapy. How a therapist handles these issues may affect a client’s trust or sense of safety in therapy. Likewise, the way a therapist deals with political discussion can be useful or not for the therapy process. Continue reading “Politics In Therapy”

Imagine what it would be like to have someone constantly following you around, telling you how bad you are, especially if you believed what they were saying. Unfortunately, many of us actually have this experience, although our critic exists inside of our own head.

Perhaps you can recognize an inner dialogue that sounds mean and judgmental, always focussing on your supposed mistakes and flaws. We have a part of our psyche, sometimes referred to as the “inner critic,” which undermines our confidence and limits our potential. This judgemental part of our mind can always find a reason to make us feel ashamed. Continue reading “Freedom From The Inner Critic”